Untitled

[Sparrisen]

Yea... I don't really know what to call this. I'm kinda mindfucked right now. I've just been to emerys place, and I am rather mindfucked. I AM RATHER MINDFUCKED.
Because, emerys, is like my oldest brother, in many regards. Which also means, that I believe that he's at least part genius.

It has made me realize. what STATE is. State is a concept, in pickup, where for some reason, everything you say, turns into gold. You can say the STUPIDEST shit EVER, and you get away with it. Try another day, and you get punched in the face for it.
A sportsman would say I'm "in the zone". A selfdeveloper would say, "I'm in the flow", where things happen THROUGH you, more than if you actually DO them yourself.

So, I just realized, what it IS. It's SHUTTING OFF, the DOMINANCE of my LEFT BRAIN.

______________

I have a setting, an environment, where I'm king. It's back home. If I want to jump up my brother's back, I do that. If I want to storm into his room, jump into his bed, I KNOW, I might get fucking pummelled for it, but I do that still.

AND THESE URGES, these things, these feelings "let's just up my brother's back", they are SOOO SMALL. And these stupid shit things I do, make up for a blaaazing huge part of my personality, because it's just so charming that I challenge everyone in this way. And when I get to a new social gathering, I DON*T DO THIS. Because the small urges are just covered UP, beneath, the BIGGER FEAR of making a fool out of myself, guilt/shame stuff like that.

As I previously concluded, the voice of the left brain, emotionally, is GUILT.
When I shut that off, I'm in God-mode, socially. Also, I just feel awesome too.

_______________

I have, through the years, discovered differen't ways to shut down my left brain.
-Actively perversifying my brain, as previously mentioned
-Doing stupid shit that doesn't make sense in any way (for fun), and COMITTING to it
-Focusing in on music, and blocking everything else off
-Focusing in on DANCING and blocking everything else off
-Getting fucking wasted -sometimes- helps me
-Having good sex

[Sparrisen]

I just realized that the above post look really strange. I wrote that in notebook, but the gentle colours of the dawnspire forum makes me think better. My points being:

1: Emerys is fucking awsome. He's considerate, and he really does his absolute best to be a good host, which I'm not used to. It makes me feel humble. I think it might be because he grew up with sisters, and a lot of female friends, so caring comes more natural to him. But that's a huge theory.

Anyway, in that way he's NOT like a brother, because, my brothers would assume I take care of myself, and from there on, not give a fuck.

2: State ===== SHUTTING DOWN YOUR LEFT SIDE BRAIN (or rather the dominance OF it.)  And the ways that I found out to do that, is written above. Basically, it consists of:

1: Scaring the voice in your head away
2: Focusing in on something to a degree that you CANNOT DO if there's a voice in your head. Extend the period of doing that.
3: Quieting the voice my chemical manipulation (go closer to the vegetable stage).

Meditating and shit doesn't really help for me, but it DOES help to learn how to control your thoughts and your focus.
_________________________________

State has been a very weird concept in pickup. The way of getting in state, has been forumlated to me as "Do something stupid. But if you do it to get IN state, it won't get you in state."
And if you go thinking "yea, I'm in state, I'm in state!" it means, that you're in your head, and thus NOT in state. If you look at it it goes away. If you try to get it, it'll evade your grasp. So it's been a kind of knowlage, that you go "so HOW THE FUCK, will this knowlage HELP me, if just KNOWING about it actually lessens my chances of getting there."

But if it's actually what I described here, simply the lack of dominance from your left-side brain, it makes sense. If you think "I want to get into state: I need to do X Y Z" that's obviously your left side of your brain speaking.

[Nightmare]

I'm so fucking jealous right now...

[Oynamak]

ye.It's not "aight, I'll get in state now! and now! or now!" it's "aight,.. .." stop, smile and go.



Like u sparr <3