Staying with emerys

[Sparrisen]

Yea, I think I'm gonna post fun stuff that we do here.
Emerys is cool, and especially HELPFUL because he both:
1: Knows how shit works
2: Knows how people works

Usually people just know one of the two, so either, you can't explain what you know, or you don't know what to explain. Also he seems compassionate, which makes him willing to share. Which is also a rare trait.

Anyhow, we've been ending up discussing deep shit, that borders on how deep you can actually get.
For instance he argues that decarte: "I think therefor I am" is spewing bullshit, while I argue that sartres followup "We are the awareness that is aware of the thought" is true (which he also thinks is BS btw).
I think my standpoint can only be understood if you're subjective, and emerys standpoint only if you're objective, and while emerys argues that "You don't exist man!" I argue that fuck, I feel this shit, I experience this, and YOU MIGHT NOW KNOW THAT, but I fucking do.

Some cool quotes that came up:
"For us to to even have this conversation, I HAVE TO acknowledge that I actually am a physical entity standing here before you"
...
"Well, if we duplicate this pen, the original pen would go WTF!"

[Sparrisen]

Alright yo. I have a question on how you play guitarr.

A while back, when I had plenty of time, and had grand dreams of becoming a guitarr-player deluxe (before I started medschool, or devoting heaps of my time to studying social dynamics), I sat down with my guitarr, and was pissed off.

I was pissed off, because I wanted to know what I played. I wanted to know, that I was playing the correct tone to the correct chord, in the correct scale. And every time, the chord changes, the scale changes. So you have to think frickin fast.

To think of notes in terms of their names are inefficient. C, C# etc, their roles varies in accordance to the chord being played.

To think of notes in terms of the names of their intervall, to the key being played, Prime, small second, second... ect, it just takes too long, thinking "There's the seven".

So I made up something else, colours, that I could *SEE* on the fretboard, like this (normal fretboard):

Fretboard in My Mind

An ionian scale would look like:


Turned out that that was a LOT to force my brain to think into, and the few weeks I devoted to internalize this, didn't quite work out. But I still think it's a rather good idea.

So, during my short stay, I BELIEVE, that I heard, that you do something similar, so how do YOU do it?

[Smiskfisk]

Sorry. I felt forced.

[Sparrisen]

Right-o. I left US. I want to thank Emerys from having me, I learned a lot of really cool shit from him.

1: I learned how to listen to people. Something I still have to practise, to perfect.
2: I learnt 3 new recepies
3: I learnt one simple, but awesome way to play chords on the guitar
4: I started to recognize general themes in music, which in the future will help me
5: Basically, I learned that being chill, can be equally powerful and attractive as being full of life, energy and passion.
6: I further learned to always try to be authentic, and unreactive, relaxed, at ease and comfortable.

[Nightmare]

But so you didn't learn how to communicate with bots?

[Sparrisen]

Regarding, talking to bots, anyone can do that. But. I'd say emery's secret in his communication skills is a certain kinship. Emerys, being incredibly intelligent, feels a remarkable connection to shit that actually has no brain. I guess that's coming full circle.

[Sparrisen]

Listening.

Alright. I've just been talking to a girl for like 3 hours. I haven't said much. She has a boyfriend. I'm not hitting on her, because I'm living with her friends. But, I practise listening. It's a new thing for me.

I think it's so fucking boring. It's cool to see the effect it has on people. Even the nicest person can get selfish when they suddenly have all of your attention. IT'S SO RARE. Like no-one's really listened to you for your entire life. And when they realize they've talked alot about themselves, and try to ask you something, you give a brief reply, and then masterfully, toss the ball over again.

You keep on tossing the ball over.

You keep on listening.

And then, when you finally try to say something, they talk over you. The selfish gleam in the eye has struck them. Now they want more.

For me, listening gets boring kindof quickly. I guess with most people, it is this way. And I think it's when you decide to do it anyway, that you're actually giving something away. Otherwise, if you only listen when it grabs your attention naturally, you're not better than the average Joe.

I still haven't figured out if listening actually gets you laid with the average girl yet though. But it definitely is creating some kind of bond.
_____________________

I think, naturally, I'm NOT a listener. NOT AT ALL. I'm a doer. I did this. I TELL you about it. I make YOU exited about ME, and MY adventure. I don't give a shit so much about you at all really, because there's 100's of people I might be telling this story to. And you listen because you think it's FASCINATING. I EXCITE you. I make YOU feel the adventure, even though you're not there.

But you don't realize that I could be telling this story to anyone.

YOU are not important in the equation.

And damn straight. Most people don't do shit with their lives anyhow.

________________

But, when you listen you're like a black hole. You can basically just focus on being relaxed, feeling good, figuring the other person out, or whatever. You are highly comfortable. Thus you also become confident. You only have to say enough to keep the other person talking. You have to be ATTENTIVE, which means you can't have an internal dialog going on. During some boring part of that listening, I found myself trying to be Emerys, and for some reason I thought:

"I am like a tree"

Which I thought was funny. I also thought, "this isn't fucking me". But this *zen* center that you develop around chicks, by just listening to them, killing your thought's as much as possible, and just trying to BE there, I think it's useful. It makes you feel confident, comfortable, and like you don't actually have to have anything to SAY.
(which is funny, since I approached a chick yesterday said HI, and I realized, fuck, maby I should say something more. Maby next time I WON'T HAHA WOULDN*T THAT BE FUNNY )

[Sparrisen]

Alright. I'm fucking confused.

WHAT DOES LISTENING DO. Because, I believe, like emerys does, that our emotions are caused by evolutionary beneficial drives.

Right now, i have no idea what listening does. People seem to like it. What drive motivates this, I cannot say. Maby if people listen to you, you feel like you have value within the tribe? Everybody listens to the leader huh? So it makes you feel that way?

Would you LIKE somebody else to feel like the leader?

What if you ARE the leader. Everybody wants your attention for this, or for that. But you take the time off to listen to someone, one particulair individual. What does that DO to that person. Obviously it's a reward, it's a privilege. If the leader listens to you, it's also a good position within the tribe. Because of your connections with the leader, maby you can pass your genes on somehow.

What would a GIRL gain from being listened to? Maybe it means, simply that the leader gives a fuck about you, and doesn't just use you as a baby machine. And if the leader gives a fuck about you, it's thus beneficial for the survival of you and your kids.

I think that's where I'm gonna lay it.
Listening would be:
"It's not just about sex- it's more"

"It's more" rhymes with the feeling I have, that it creates a bond Yea! any opinions welcome of course.

[Sparrisen]

Oh, and I want to formulate something here that's kinda hard to formulate. I will do it as CLEAR as i can.

I think LISTENING is a good introduction to SPEAKING.

I think you can give value, by LISTENING. And I think you can give value while SPEAKING

I mentioned that to be an outstanding listener, there's a barrier that you had to go through? A barrier of boredom, that stops people from giving this gift fully. Listening like a pro, you would have to defeat that barrier.

So, if you wanna TALK, what would be the barrier, that seperates *normal* people, from the *pro* speakers?
Because I believe that if you go FURTHER than the REST you're gonna get a better RESULT. What would be an uncomfortable barrier that most people would stop at, when it comes to SPEAKING??

When you SPEAK, you SHARE. You share something about yourself. Say you share the feeling of happiness. But the person you're talking to is having a piss day and just won't have it. Basically, he give you shit-feelings back.

so you go "Oh..." And you stop sharing.

But you know how there's people who can make you feel better, just because they're sooo happy, or whatever? Their vibe is INFECTIOUS. And even if you really fucking HAAD a PISS DAY, the person would just PERSIST in his happy vibe, and finally, would sweep you with him/her. Your petty shittyness dies in the storm of awesomeness.

AND THAT'S GIVING, when speaking. You OVER-RIDE. You force someone happy. And the BARRIER of UNCOMFORT here is when you get SHIT-FEELINGS BACK.

EDIT: So, the way I think listening is good practise for speaking, is actually, because you need to learn how to HOLD YOUR STATE, faced with negative emotions that would persuade you to do otherwise.

Listening:
Boredom - Attentiveness

Speaking:
Initial bad feelings - Keep feeling good

[Sparrisen]

And face it: If you have the skills to make ANYONE listen to you, and you can LISTEN to ANYONE. You can date a fucking social retard. You can take full responsability for the relationship.

(of course there's other qualities too that's worthwhile, but it sets a very cool fundamental)

[PimpFather]

One person speaking, the speaker. One person listening, the listener.

The speaker has probably one of the following reasons to speak:
- To inform you of something
- To get something off his/hers chest (makes the speaker feel better)
- Speaker has a question (spoken out loud, or unspoken circumvented) and wants help.
- Secondary (often hidden) reasons like: Later on have sex, get in contact with someone else, set a trap etc.
- Pass the time.

The listener probably listens because:
- There might be valuable information
- To make the speaker feel better
- To help the speaker.
- Secondary (often hidden) reasons, like above.
- Pass the time.

The importance and the reason of speaking and listening often seems to be different between men and women...

/ Pimp

[Sparrisen]

That's immensly logical of you