Just lost fear of death

[Sparrisen]

As a kid, I was christian. I believed in God, my parents were christian so, my mother made me pray every night before going to bed. Now, in my life, I've asked God for two things:
1: Find a toy actionfigure which I could not find.
2: That I'd loose my virginity before I died. I've been in some pretty tense situations, I just, you know, if I were to die some day, I'd just want to have sex once before I passed away, just so I knew what it was like.

While, I've had sexual encounters before, I never really had *HAD* REAL sex. Like spear in hole, and go. During a trip to Thailand, I met this wonderful massage girl, and in the tropical night we humped like we were the reason for creating the WORD hump. We defined it. I felt like one of those desert rats that fuck for 24 hours, and then just die. On and on. (It's where I learned that, if you don't add MASSIVE FEELING, it's just gymnastics.)

Hard day at the beach -> massage-> hump-> next day. It was a vacation I really enjoyed.

I've realized since, that this was what I asked out of life. I wanted to fuck. I have achieved this. Now I live on bonus time, and I've come to realize this more and more. It really feels like everyday, it's just bonus. I could pass on tomorrow, if I just had the time to write a note, like "If you grief, don't cry because you think I want you to feel sad, cry for YOURSELF. But I'd rather you'd be happy about my memory."

And it's friggin nice. Things have lost their sharpness. Fear doesn't strike me as easy. Things can be challenging and cumbersome, but FEAR, it's getting smaller and smaller by the day. (this was years ago, btw, I'm just realizing the effects here. It's not like i was in Thailand yesterday.)

Sure, I still have goals, things to aim at, people I love, things I enjoy. But I asked God for this one thing (except the action figure), and if God exists, dammit, I'm gonna be content and thankful.

[ReverendLostLamb]

Now I live on bonus time

What? You confuse me. Whatever your actions you cannot gain one day more nor less. It's in the Bible. You should read that book.

EDIT: And what's all the talk about *if* God exists you're gonna be thankful? Didn't he just prove his existence by giving you 50% of what you asked for (and that was not a small favor you asked)? And who knows, perhaps you one day will find the actionfigure...

[Sparrisen]

I found the action figure. YOu could say this two ways:

1: I found the actionfigure
2: God possessed me to look in the right place, and without his divine prescence I would never have found it, because it was kept hidden under protective enchantments from satan.

Same with getting sex that time, could be:

1: I had sex
2: God decided it's been a long time, possesses me and makes it happen.

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You must realize, that sex is not above me, sex is the most natural interraction between a man and femalse imaginable, and it could be, it just happened. If you just follow your feelings, you know, your ANCESTORS have managed to fuck for GENERATION and as such breeded the ultimate sexmachine into you. It's there. Just follow your feelings right.

If I ask God, "Please make the sun raise tomorrow". If it does, I'm not going to take it as unmistakable proof of God's existance. But I cannot promise the sun wouldn't have rose otherwise either, in hindsight.
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Also, please stop like comparing things to the bible and telling us we should make the same comparison. I mean, you can form your own conclusions about that right, tell us them, and stop there. If I want to read the bible, there's nothing stopping me, but YOU continiously makes the idea feel distasteful and worn out even before I've begun.

[Hullu]

Blablabla godtalk bla blabla.

Bla.

[lingojac]

Know the acronym "TMI"?

Heh i'm kiddin. kinda.