Grief

[Sparrisen]

OK, so it happened, I found a girl who I reaaally liked, we hung out for a while, and then it was "just be friends". No matter how silly this might sound, the prospect of NOT getting her is crushing. It's amazing. I can delude myself that it's love forever, and then I don't give a shit, but when reality comes smashing through my delusions there's PAIN. I mean WTFF. I don't want this. I look at my feelings, and I think they're fake bullshit, the grass is always greener on the other side. Now there's different solutions to this. I've read several suggested.

Eckardt Tolle: Accept the pain, and realize that it is not you, and just a bodily response to thought patterns. (well, it does let me do my homework, but it also leaves me feeling a background negativity)

Mystery: Fuck 10 more girls
(Not tested, had two, since this one, and further sex will be hard since partying will be scarse right now)

Anthony Robins: BREAK the mental pattern by doing something random, like poking yourself in the ear while singing "HAALLELUULJAH", then continue thinking positive thoughts about other things, as to not reinforce the negative pathway building up in your brain.
(It does break the current pattern, and makes me feel silly and joyous, but it doesn't stop the feeling from coming back)

Me: I found that convincing myself that there is NO CHANCE that we will NOT hook up eventually, and KNOWING THIS, not only made me feel OK, it also makes me act in an attractive way, as opposed to, a depressive way.

People: Get another girl, and love her. (I think this is like "Transfer problem" only that, if she in fact responds positively, I will likely grow bored, and be back at square one)

David Deida: I don't really know. I think he would say that I'm fussing about something that's not in line with my purpose as a man. I should focus on realizing my dreams, and aknowlage that women come and go, and there will always be another one. (Well, something I do, but it doesn't stop me feeling shitty a great deal of the time)


Well, fuck if I know. Any tips?

EDIT: There's always the road of total honesty where I run up to her like a crybaby, promise her forever, and that I'll be her slaveboy just to remain in her presence. While everything I know about pickup tells me I might as well shoot myself, as to be doing this, what I know about selfdevelopment says that the bigger I fuck up, the quicker I learn.

EDIT2: Also, I think I would think it damn funny despite myself^^

[Hullu]

Dawnspire related Dawnspire related Dawnspire related

[Sparrisen]

I failed at posting in the offtopic

[Oynamak]

Approach to god. He's gonna help you.

[Sparrisen]

God, help me move this thread into the offtopic section.

[Mad-Martigan]

That's life sparrisen 

[Oynamak]

God, help me move this thread into the offtopic section.

I don't think he's that mighty.

But fish :O

[Nightmare]

God, help me move this thread into the offtopic section.

Your wish has been granted.

[Sparrisen]

proof.

[ReverendLostLamb]

I would do as Tolle says, but I don't think I have enough life experience to comment on this topic.

[Sparrisen]

What gets to me... is that we're all developed to fuck. WE'VE EVOLVED to fuck. This our purpose. Through generations, your ancestors managed to get it on, and you are the perfect result thereof. The fuckmachine deluxe. So what purpose does these shit-feelings serve? It would seem that they only make you act like a limpdick looser. I think they might be there to stop limpdick loosers from contaminating the gene pool, and instead elevate the dudes who have the ability to step up.

I MEAN, ATTACHMENT TO ONE GIRL THAT DOES NOT **WANT YOU** is purely illogical from an evolutionary perspective. It's like beating yourself in the head with a mallet. Therefore, the only purpose these feeling might serve, is to prevent you from getting what you want. They're there to fuck with you.

[Sparrisen]

okokok, I think the woman game is to get you hooked like this. Drawing out out of control for a moment. BUT THEN YOU REVERT BACK. She wants to see that flash, but she doesn't want the drag.

[Cos]

you need some magic fluid

[Bernhardt]

We already had this discussion you and I, but one trick to get over a situation that seems impossible and frustrating, is to concentrate that energy on something else. You say we as human beings have been developed to fuck - we are living organisms afterall - but I say we have been developed to function. Life is motion and I say take a jog, or build a house. Wrestling works for me. Rest of your body and soul will heal over time. You'll be ready for another brawl in no time!

I wouldn't suggest simply trying to fuck your way out of the situation. If you are emotionally attached to someone, the joys of physical encounter can get you only so far. It's as hopeless as marching in the sea and trying to warm yourself by peeing in your pants (nostalgic marine reference)!